Some Practical Benefits of Family Devotions
By Devin Maddox
Introduction
There have been numerous books, pamphlets, and sermons written on the topic of family devotions or worship in the home. It is not my goal to write comprehensively on the topic, but to remind us all that there are practical benefits we should recognize. In recognizing these few practical benefits, we should be encouraged to press on in the duties and work before us with joy and patience. Let us not forget that we have a short time on earth and an even shorter time in which to raise and influence our children.
First of all, some preliminary statements need to be made so everyone is reassured we are attempting to follow biblical precepts. I have included three introductory comments to help our understanding of the importance of family devotions.
First of all, some preliminary statements need to be made so everyone is reassured we are attempting to follow biblical precepts. I have included three introductory comments to help our understanding of the importance of family devotions.
Duty of Fathers
Arthur W. Pink once wrote, "Consider first the example of Abraham, the father of the faithful and the friend of God (James 2:23). It was for his domestic piety that he received blessing from Jehovah Himself: 'For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment' (Gen. 18:19). The patriarch is here commended for instructing his children and servants in the most important of all duties—'the way of the Lord'—the truth about His glorious person, His high claims upon us, His requirements from us. Note well the words 'he will command' them, that is, he would use the authority God had given him as a father and head of his house to enforce the duties of family godliness. Abraham also prayed with as well as instructed his family: wherever he pitched his tent, there he built 'an altar to the Lord' (Gen. 12:7; 13:4). Now, my readers, we may well ask ourselves, Are we 'Abraham's seed' (Gal. 3:29) if we do not 'the works of Abraham' (John 8:39) and neglect the weighty duty of family worship?"
The question Pink asks is rhetorical. Yes, like those of the household of faith, we do the works of "faithful Abraham" and neglect not the practice of family worship. This duty, apart from supplying the fundamental needs of the family, is at the top of a father's job description. If there were an official "conditions of employment" responsibilities list, it could read something like this:
The question Pink asks is rhetorical. Yes, like those of the household of faith, we do the works of "faithful Abraham" and neglect not the practice of family worship. This duty, apart from supplying the fundamental needs of the family, is at the top of a father's job description. If there were an official "conditions of employment" responsibilities list, it could read something like this:
- Provide all necessary needs for the family, such as, food, clothing, shelter, and safety.
- Besides physical nutrition and shelter, a father needs to provide spiritual nutrition as he leads his family in worship, learning the Word of God, and prayer...
Many times, men feel like number 2 is optional. Or, because it is not number 1, they can procrastinate in fulfilling its requirements. Otherwise, they think they are accomplishing number 2 by going to church once a week. These are lazy habits and false assumptions that need repentance. Family worship is a duty and responsibility for fathers, but also an expression of faithfulness.
Example of Parents
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates." –Deuteronomy 6:4-9
The commands of God should be something we are aware of more than once a week. And more than in one place. In fact, they are to remain in our hearts. God's Word is something we need to hear and read as often as we can. One way this pattern is carried out in the home is by the example of parents in daily family devotions. However, we don't want to simply stop at having our children memorize some verses or catechism questions, but rather we need to have a habitual practice of reading, hearing, praying, and singing. We need to have discussions about what the Bible teaches. I am proposing a habit of sincere and energetic worship that is not simply going through motions.
"If your habitual conduct does not exhibit right principles, and your conversation express them, you can never bring your children to adopt them by any arguments for the truth. But if your habitual conduct and conversation is right, formal and logical instruction is necessary to permanently secure the conquests which these influences will certainly make." –Jacob Abbott
Preparing & Guarding
In the preface to A Puritan Catechism, C.H. Spurgeon wrote, "I am persuaded that the use of a good Catechism in all our families will be a great safeguard against the increasing errors of the times, and therefore I have compiled this little manual from the Westminster Assembly's and Baptist Catechisms, for the use of my own church and congregation. Those who use it in their families or classes must labor to explain the sense; but the words should be carefully learned by heart, for they will be understood better as years pass."
We use this very catechism in our family devotions. One thing I like about it is that it follows the form and order of the Westminster, but it has the Baptist Q&A in the places necessary for a credo-baptist. It is also short! There are only 82 questions! As a family, we have not attained to the full content but we are plodding through little by little. I don't want anyone to have the wrong impression that we are trying to manufacture little Westminster Divines in a few short months. It's been said, "as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined". Trees don't grow very fast to the human eye, but a neglected tree in the garden is obvious compared to a healthy and well-maintained one. Our goals in this area should be characterized by the terms "steady and consistent."
There are a couple of points in Spurgeon's quote that I want us to focus on. First, is the fact that he assumes his congregation is carrying out family worship. Second, he believes it is a preparation ground for defending the faith against "increasing errors". We should share this apprehension in our current culture as well. By teaching the sense of the questions and answers of a good catechism, we can prepare the next generation to be consistent in the faith while guarding against heresy.
Many people in America today don't want to be boxed in by doctrine, confessions, catechisms, creeds, or statements of faith. They want their own experience, religion, and feelings to guide them and console them. The problem is that the Bible itself is full of affirmations, creeds, definitive statements, and proclamations of faith. Many say they believe the Bible, but what is it they believe the Bible says? We must not be flippant in our understanding of the importance to teach sound doctrine and practice to our children.
We use this very catechism in our family devotions. One thing I like about it is that it follows the form and order of the Westminster, but it has the Baptist Q&A in the places necessary for a credo-baptist. It is also short! There are only 82 questions! As a family, we have not attained to the full content but we are plodding through little by little. I don't want anyone to have the wrong impression that we are trying to manufacture little Westminster Divines in a few short months. It's been said, "as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined". Trees don't grow very fast to the human eye, but a neglected tree in the garden is obvious compared to a healthy and well-maintained one. Our goals in this area should be characterized by the terms "steady and consistent."
There are a couple of points in Spurgeon's quote that I want us to focus on. First, is the fact that he assumes his congregation is carrying out family worship. Second, he believes it is a preparation ground for defending the faith against "increasing errors". We should share this apprehension in our current culture as well. By teaching the sense of the questions and answers of a good catechism, we can prepare the next generation to be consistent in the faith while guarding against heresy.
Many people in America today don't want to be boxed in by doctrine, confessions, catechisms, creeds, or statements of faith. They want their own experience, religion, and feelings to guide them and console them. The problem is that the Bible itself is full of affirmations, creeds, definitive statements, and proclamations of faith. Many say they believe the Bible, but what is it they believe the Bible says? We must not be flippant in our understanding of the importance to teach sound doctrine and practice to our children.
Some Practical Benefits
1. Discipline—A general benefit to church and society.
Certain things must be present when family devotions are carried out. First and foremost is order. Worship does not occur in chaos. God doesn't prescribe chaotic and loose behavior during worship. The attitudes of worship include joy and praise, but these are not exemplified in random outbursts. Therefore, having order in worship means at some point children, especially the younger ones, will have to be disciplined and learn to maintain a level of self-control.
How does this benefit the church and society, you ask?
Well, think of the times you have observed children running amok in public places. Is there a time when that is not the case in their home? With some, I don't doubt that there is never a time when they are made to sit still and be quiet. However, some get doses of behavior modification and learn when they can get away with going berserk and when they can't.
What I am attempting to secure in our minds is that daily family devotions must be conducted, and in order to conduct them, there must be order. Consequently, this means discipline. Not tyranny, but the fundamentals of learning to sit in one place, be quiet when it's not one's turn to speak, appropriate responses, participation as a group, and respect. If we can accomplish these things in a daily routine in the comforts and privacy of our own homes, then surely we can learn to apply these same techniques into disciplined public conduct. It seems logically conclusive that daily family devotions are aids in forming good public conduct, which is a good witness to society and benefit to the church.
2. Training for Public Worship
Private worship in the home is not the same as congregational worship on Sunday morning. This seems like an obvious, common sense declaration, but it seems that in our current culture it needs to be restated. Many people think they can worship God how they see fit: whenever, wherever, and with whomever they choose. Coffee shop discussion is considered "doing church" these days. So we need to make sure we see congregational worship of God during Sunday morning church service as a fundamental and distinct function of Christianity. Furthermore, though family worship is distinct, it should be seen as a means of assistance for congregational worship.
Regarding these category distinctions, there are several differences but also some crossover that will bring the benefits of continuity to light. In our homes, we do not have the requirements of a formal liturgy, observance of the sacraments, an ordained minister expounding the text, church in communion, and so on. But we do have basic elements of scripture reading, praying, singing, and explanation. There is still a strong aspect of submitting to God, receiving His Word, and responding to what he has revealed unto us.
This is the area where family devotions train children for public worship. It helps set the pattern and fundamental order that causes a sense of familiarity when congregational worship occurs. The less a family practices any private devotions, the less attuned the children will be come Sunday morning. Sitting still, listening, singing, praying—all these things will be considered strange conditions of restraint by the child, which ultimately, make it more difficult for parents to deal with.
3. Conditioning for Learning
Training and conditioning are synonymous terms, so I am using this third benefit to continue the thought of practical benefits of family devotions into the broader idea of education. Just like worship cannot be conducted in chaos, so too with education. Whether parents home school or use a separate institution, the rule still applies to both environments.
When I was a child, I had the experience of attending both a Roman Catholic and an IPS school in a close time frame. Even as a child, I well understood the difference between the two. The Catholic school was better in every way: higher education, clean facilities, better teachers, happier children, fewer trouble makers, fewer visits to the principle's office, and so on. The main difference? Discipline, training, conditioning. Children were made to be in order, rather than the place being in chaos. The chaotic environment was horrible for me to endure. I learned next to nothing and was hoping I could go to another school as soon as possible.
The point in all this is that no matter what school situation a child is in, participation in regular family devotions will aid in bringing ordered conditioning to a child. This creates an environment in which they can learn. Carrying out this practical benefit can only help with the learning processes of listening skills, memorization, dialogue, and constructive participation.
4. Family Bonding
Who doesn't like a good family tradition? We love spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with our family. We love summer breaks. We love things that bring us closer together and take our minds off chores. We love times were the family is sitting around listening to mom or dad tell a story. These examples might help you remember some good times with your parents or siblings. During family devotions, there are many opportunities for important discussions about life. This is an area of positive tradition that is lacking in our current times.
Family worship is just not valued as it should be. It has been my experience that one of the reasons for this is that people think of it as a huge demand on their life. They think it is too difficult to maintain. All this talk of discipline, training, learning, and discussions—it's all too much! Sorry men, you're going to have to get off the couch and gather the family together for some Bible reading and prayer. It's time to man up here!
While I want us to commit to this area of responsibility with determination and strong will, I also realize that many times people just have the wrong idea about the concepts we have covered thus far. Conducting family devotions doesn't mean that we should make it too vigorous, long-winded, and demanding. It is a situation that has a relaxed feel to it. We are on the couch, chairs, and floor of our living room after all. We are not donning our Sunday best. We are usually preparing for bedtime, and that means the children have their PJ's on. It is not a military base. It is not a preparatory school. We are not standing at attention. We are only spending 15-30 minutes a day, which is less time than most people spend playing app games on their smartphones.
On the other hand, the children are made sit still and be quiet until it is their time to speak. They are trained to listen and respond appropriately. There is a flow to it that only comes by practice. The more it is done, the more accustomed everyone is to it. Several times, my family has been caught off our daily routines by other chores or visits that were unplanned. When it came time for devotions, I was ready to move on and get through to the time of the day when I put my head on the pillow. But my kids were making sure I didn't forget to do my part by asking, "but what about devotions, dad?" It's hard to say no to that.
5. Meditation
Yes! Finally, a practical benefit that our current culture will appreciate! You were waiting for me to get to this one. It's all the craze right now! Yes folks, it's time for Yoga and finding your inner self peace! Who knew that family devotions were one step away from a stress-free life? If you throw in some essential oils you will be on the top of the world, but watch those breathing techniques—the air is thin up there.
Obviously, the meditation I am referring to is biblical rather than pagan. Christian meditation is thinking our thoughts after God.
"This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success." –Joshua 1:8
"But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night." –Psalm 1:2
"When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches." –Psalm 63:6
"I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings." –Psalm 77:12
"I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways." –Psalm 119:15
"In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul." –Psalm 94:19
"I hate vain thoughts: but thy law do I love." –Psalm 119:113
"Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established." –Proverbs 16:3
The obvious practical benefit of family devotions is that it puts God's Word and His ways into our minds while exercising our thoughts according to His wisdom and not according to fallen man. No Yoga pants required for family worship!
6. A Building Block for Unity in the Church (Faith and practice reinforced.)
We have already seen the benefits of family worship that help in areas of society at large and also within the church. There is still yet more benefits to the church than behavior and acclimation. There is also the benefit of unity. Those who seek to watch over the purity, health, and service of the church know that many counterproductive tendencies are going on in our culture. Many want their preferences and beliefs outside the church and only come into mild conformity with the teaching of the church when it benefits them.
However, the best situation we can pray for is that parents will affirm the beliefs and practices of the church and teach those same affirmations to the next generation. We need faith and practice reinforced if we ever hope to maintain a long-lasting mission of edifying the saints and proclaiming the one true gospel.
Joel Beeke explains:
Certain things must be present when family devotions are carried out. First and foremost is order. Worship does not occur in chaos. God doesn't prescribe chaotic and loose behavior during worship. The attitudes of worship include joy and praise, but these are not exemplified in random outbursts. Therefore, having order in worship means at some point children, especially the younger ones, will have to be disciplined and learn to maintain a level of self-control.
How does this benefit the church and society, you ask?
Well, think of the times you have observed children running amok in public places. Is there a time when that is not the case in their home? With some, I don't doubt that there is never a time when they are made to sit still and be quiet. However, some get doses of behavior modification and learn when they can get away with going berserk and when they can't.
What I am attempting to secure in our minds is that daily family devotions must be conducted, and in order to conduct them, there must be order. Consequently, this means discipline. Not tyranny, but the fundamentals of learning to sit in one place, be quiet when it's not one's turn to speak, appropriate responses, participation as a group, and respect. If we can accomplish these things in a daily routine in the comforts and privacy of our own homes, then surely we can learn to apply these same techniques into disciplined public conduct. It seems logically conclusive that daily family devotions are aids in forming good public conduct, which is a good witness to society and benefit to the church.
2. Training for Public Worship
Private worship in the home is not the same as congregational worship on Sunday morning. This seems like an obvious, common sense declaration, but it seems that in our current culture it needs to be restated. Many people think they can worship God how they see fit: whenever, wherever, and with whomever they choose. Coffee shop discussion is considered "doing church" these days. So we need to make sure we see congregational worship of God during Sunday morning church service as a fundamental and distinct function of Christianity. Furthermore, though family worship is distinct, it should be seen as a means of assistance for congregational worship.
Regarding these category distinctions, there are several differences but also some crossover that will bring the benefits of continuity to light. In our homes, we do not have the requirements of a formal liturgy, observance of the sacraments, an ordained minister expounding the text, church in communion, and so on. But we do have basic elements of scripture reading, praying, singing, and explanation. There is still a strong aspect of submitting to God, receiving His Word, and responding to what he has revealed unto us.
This is the area where family devotions train children for public worship. It helps set the pattern and fundamental order that causes a sense of familiarity when congregational worship occurs. The less a family practices any private devotions, the less attuned the children will be come Sunday morning. Sitting still, listening, singing, praying—all these things will be considered strange conditions of restraint by the child, which ultimately, make it more difficult for parents to deal with.
3. Conditioning for Learning
Training and conditioning are synonymous terms, so I am using this third benefit to continue the thought of practical benefits of family devotions into the broader idea of education. Just like worship cannot be conducted in chaos, so too with education. Whether parents home school or use a separate institution, the rule still applies to both environments.
When I was a child, I had the experience of attending both a Roman Catholic and an IPS school in a close time frame. Even as a child, I well understood the difference between the two. The Catholic school was better in every way: higher education, clean facilities, better teachers, happier children, fewer trouble makers, fewer visits to the principle's office, and so on. The main difference? Discipline, training, conditioning. Children were made to be in order, rather than the place being in chaos. The chaotic environment was horrible for me to endure. I learned next to nothing and was hoping I could go to another school as soon as possible.
The point in all this is that no matter what school situation a child is in, participation in regular family devotions will aid in bringing ordered conditioning to a child. This creates an environment in which they can learn. Carrying out this practical benefit can only help with the learning processes of listening skills, memorization, dialogue, and constructive participation.
4. Family Bonding
Who doesn't like a good family tradition? We love spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with our family. We love summer breaks. We love things that bring us closer together and take our minds off chores. We love times were the family is sitting around listening to mom or dad tell a story. These examples might help you remember some good times with your parents or siblings. During family devotions, there are many opportunities for important discussions about life. This is an area of positive tradition that is lacking in our current times.
Family worship is just not valued as it should be. It has been my experience that one of the reasons for this is that people think of it as a huge demand on their life. They think it is too difficult to maintain. All this talk of discipline, training, learning, and discussions—it's all too much! Sorry men, you're going to have to get off the couch and gather the family together for some Bible reading and prayer. It's time to man up here!
While I want us to commit to this area of responsibility with determination and strong will, I also realize that many times people just have the wrong idea about the concepts we have covered thus far. Conducting family devotions doesn't mean that we should make it too vigorous, long-winded, and demanding. It is a situation that has a relaxed feel to it. We are on the couch, chairs, and floor of our living room after all. We are not donning our Sunday best. We are usually preparing for bedtime, and that means the children have their PJ's on. It is not a military base. It is not a preparatory school. We are not standing at attention. We are only spending 15-30 minutes a day, which is less time than most people spend playing app games on their smartphones.
On the other hand, the children are made sit still and be quiet until it is their time to speak. They are trained to listen and respond appropriately. There is a flow to it that only comes by practice. The more it is done, the more accustomed everyone is to it. Several times, my family has been caught off our daily routines by other chores or visits that were unplanned. When it came time for devotions, I was ready to move on and get through to the time of the day when I put my head on the pillow. But my kids were making sure I didn't forget to do my part by asking, "but what about devotions, dad?" It's hard to say no to that.
5. Meditation
Yes! Finally, a practical benefit that our current culture will appreciate! You were waiting for me to get to this one. It's all the craze right now! Yes folks, it's time for Yoga and finding your inner self peace! Who knew that family devotions were one step away from a stress-free life? If you throw in some essential oils you will be on the top of the world, but watch those breathing techniques—the air is thin up there.
Obviously, the meditation I am referring to is biblical rather than pagan. Christian meditation is thinking our thoughts after God.
"This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success." –Joshua 1:8
"But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night." –Psalm 1:2
"When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches." –Psalm 63:6
"I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings." –Psalm 77:12
"I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways." –Psalm 119:15
"In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul." –Psalm 94:19
"I hate vain thoughts: but thy law do I love." –Psalm 119:113
"Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established." –Proverbs 16:3
The obvious practical benefit of family devotions is that it puts God's Word and His ways into our minds while exercising our thoughts according to His wisdom and not according to fallen man. No Yoga pants required for family worship!
6. A Building Block for Unity in the Church (Faith and practice reinforced.)
We have already seen the benefits of family worship that help in areas of society at large and also within the church. There is still yet more benefits to the church than behavior and acclimation. There is also the benefit of unity. Those who seek to watch over the purity, health, and service of the church know that many counterproductive tendencies are going on in our culture. Many want their preferences and beliefs outside the church and only come into mild conformity with the teaching of the church when it benefits them.
However, the best situation we can pray for is that parents will affirm the beliefs and practices of the church and teach those same affirmations to the next generation. We need faith and practice reinforced if we ever hope to maintain a long-lasting mission of edifying the saints and proclaiming the one true gospel.
Joel Beeke explains:
"One foundational truth is that God gives us children to raise for Him. Since 'Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever' (WSC, Q.1), the chief end of Christian parents must be to bring up their children to the glory of God. The Dutch Reformed Form for the Confirmation of Marriage declares that one reason God instituted marriage was so that married couples should 'bring up the children which the Lord shall give them, in the true knowledge and fear of God, to His glory, and their salvation.' Accordingly, when a man and woman are married, the minister prays that God will 'bless them as Thou hast blessed the believing fathers, Thy friends and faithful servants, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; in order that they, as coheirs of the covenant which Thou hast established with these fathers, may bring up their children which Thou wilt be pleased to give them, in the fear of the Lord, to the honor of Thy holy name, to the edification of Thy church, and to the extension of the holy gospel.'"
Conclusion
These are some thoughts on the several practical benefits of family devotions, but these concepts are not exhaustive. The point of sharing this letter is for encouragement and to continue with our theme of, "setting in order the things that are lacking." We have many young children in the church who are going to grow up in the blink of an eye. As a parent with children's ages ranging from toddler to teen, I can affirm the quickness of life and the seemingly short windows of opportunity to get things right in the development stages of our children. It is work. Faithfulness and diligence are the qualities of success, and yet, we are wholly dependent on God's grace and we must remember to hold tightly to His promises.
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord." –1 Corinthians 15:58
